I know, the phrase “screen Free” makes your blood run cold. Especially when I’m suggesting that you endure children for an entire day without TV. But rest assured, there’s a way to unplug that doesn’t include screaming obscenities and hopping the next jet to Club Med.
Start small. Have a plan. Understand why.
Why should I unplug?
Why would anyone in their right mind want to put down the drugs, I mean, screens for an entire day? (Or in our case, from waking until 5:00 pm.)
First and foremost, screens are an “experience blocker.” (As Jonathan Haidt explains in “The Anxious Generation.”) If you are on your phone, or playing a video game, or watching TV, you are not doing other things. You’re not reading a book, talking to friends, enjoying a hobby, exercising, sleeping, learning new skills, appreciating nature, etc.
People are on their phones for an average of 4.8 hours per day. That’s almost one-third of your waking day! Can you imagine if you instead spent that same time lifting weights or learning a musical instrument?
Kids need free play
Experience blocking is an especially important issue for children. Play is the work of childhood, and if they’re watching a screen, they’re not getting the benefits of free play. Play promotes self-regulation, independence, critical thinking, emotional well-being, and enhances language development and math skills.
If you unplug, children have the time and space for free play. Just make sure not to micro manage them. Pull out some Legos or crayons or empty cardboard boxes and let their imaginations do the rest. Remember all of those toys you bought them for Christmas that are gathering dust? Now is their chance to actually use them.
In addition to giving kids time to play, it gives us adults room to breathe. Take a break from incessant emails or notifications. If your phone is your only means of communicating with family and friends, feel free to take calls or texts as needed. However, I know from personal experience that it’s not going to go well if you tell your children to turn off the iPad and then you stare at your phone all day. The benefits of unplugging apply to you as well.
You’re not doing this as punishment. You’re doing this for the benefits. And after a few weeks, I promise you’ll crave your Sundays.
Benefits of going screen free (for a day)
- Taking a break from social media will improve your mental health. Social media use has been linked to depression and low self-esteem in adults and teens.
- Reclaim your attention span! Unplug to teach your children how to entertain themselves without parent involvement or constant stimulation from technology. Once upon a time we all stood in line that the DMV and either people-watched, started conversations, came up with ideas, or daydreamed. Now we just stare at Instagram. Reclaim your brain! (And teach your kids how to have their own thoughts, not those of the internet.)
- Your body needs a break from all that bending, slouching, and staring! Device use can cause strain to the brain, eyes, neck, hands, arms, and back.
- Enjoy your life instead of reading about someone else’s. Don’t sit around getting FOMO when you could be out making memories.
- The more varied experiences you have, the more memories you’ll have. Literally. (It’s science!) Checkout our entire post on this phenomenon.
- Unplug to improve your relationships! There’s no substitute for in-person communication. Whether you’re spending time with your kids, partner, or friends, the health benefits of human relationships include living longer and improved brain health.
Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.
–Christian Lous Lange
How to unplug without going unhinged
I am not by ANY means suggesting that you go white-knuckle, COVID-lockdown-style and just wake up on a Sunday with no plans and tell your screen fans to “go play.” That, my friends, is a recipe for a trainwreck crashing into a dumpster fire.
Start small.
If your household is used to grabbing a phone or tablet anytime boredom strikes, you’ll have to take this in bite sized pieces. Maybe your first screen-free Sunday will be from breakfast until lunch. Maybe it will be from sundown to bedtime.
Going screen-free is a skill that must be learned and a muscle that must be strengthened. At first, your kids are going to shout “I’m bored,” about once per minute. You’re going to feel that itch for instant tik-tok gratification. But the more you go without, the better you’ll get at it. However, the most important factor to a successful screen sabbath is a plan.
Have a plan. I’m serious.
If your kids are used to rolling out of bed and immediately turning on a screen, it might benefit you to get out of the house and away from the usual routine (and temptations.) Sometimes it’s nice to have a standing date every Sunday morning like swim lessons, or church, or breakfast out with the grandparents. Sometimes it’s good to just choose an activity the night before and mix it up each week. But don’t wake up and ask “what do you guys want to do today?” You’re asking for trouble!
Test out some of these tried and true ideas for screen-free fun:
- Go to the park
- Check out a museum (many libraries offer free passes to local museums and attractions.)
- Go for a hike
- Go swimming at the local pool, ocean, or indoor rec center
- For older kids, try an escape room
- Visit an amusement park or zoo
- Ride bikes or create a bicycle obstacle course
- Wash the car in the driveway
- Plant a vegetable garden or some flowers
- Checkout our post on outdoor activities for LOTS of ideas
Screen Free at home
Maybe going outside this week is too cold, too hot, or too expensive. But if you’re going to unplug at home, you still need a plan.
In “The Opt-Out Family,” Erin Loechner suggests that we imitate “the algorithm” in our real lives. When you open up tik tok, the video is already rolling. There’s no need to press play. Thus, instead of asking your kids what they want to do, have a game or toy already laid out before they wake. They are far more likely to get engrossed in play if the Monopoly board is already set on the breakfast table than if they walk into a cold kitchen and you start asking, “do you guys want to play a board game?” (The answer I get is always no. But if I just start playing, they always join in.)
Similarly, if my kids start whining that they’re bored, nothing I suggest ever seems to placate them. However, if I grab a picture book and start reading, they’re immediately engrossed. Keep these facts in mind for the moments when you’re ready to pull out your hair and pull out the iPads.
The gold standard is that you can wake up on a Sunday and your kids start to play on their own. (Had you told me in 2020 that my kids would someday do that, I would have spit out my chai tea latte from laughing at your ridiculous fantasy.) But after almost 4 years of screen-free Sunday, that’s exactly what happens. My boys wake up, and not once do they ask to turn on the TV. They know that I’m going to say no, because I have been for 4 years. Consistency is key.
Kids catch on fast
My sons were about 3 and 5 when we started this journey. Prior to this, every moment that they weren’t watching a show, they were begging for one. And every time I told them to return the iPad, they attempted a Blippi-induced coup.
So I introduced screen-free Sunday. (My sister thought I had lost my marbles.) Of course, for the first couple of weeks they asked if they could watch a show about ten times per minute. But by week three, they never even asked. They realized that mom was serious.
Once they had time to play and “nothing better to do,” they got so creative. I was wowed by the games they invented, the worlds they inhabited, and the laughter that ensued.
Where do I begin?
I know this can be daunting. Especially with really little kids. But you can do this. And the benefit to your family is enormous.
If your kids are unfamiliar with independent free play, try this trick… What activity does your child always start doing when you’re desperately trying to get them into the bath or into the car? Does he pickup the book from the floor and start reading? Does she start building with skattered Legos? Do they all start throwing their stuffed animals off the top of their bunk beds? Whatever their default setting is, start there.
If they enjoy Legos, set a bucket of Legos on the table at breakfast. If they love books, start reading aloud as soon as the alarm goes off. You get the idea.
As soon as the charm wears off, get on to the next thing. It might be building a fort, it might be playing card games, or it might be hopscotch in the backyard. If you’re doing it, they’ll do it. And once they get engrossed, you can slip off to the side to read a book or paint your nails.
Screen Free gets easier
When my boys were very young, I would set up some elaborate activity in the sensory bin, or some obstacle course I had seen on Pinterest. It doesn’t have to be so involved. Yes, little kids have shorter attention spans, but you don’t need to be their cruise ship party director.
Open-ended toys are the holy grail. Think building blocks, loose parts, puzzles, art supplies… or best of all- nature! You will be amazed at the games kids can create with a backyard and a long stick, or a neighborhood stream and a boat made of leaves. They will play for hours. Not minutes, hours. Just like we all did before the internet existed…
Screen free indoor ideas
If you need some screen-free toy ideas, checkout our recent post. Or unplug with one (or many) of the following:
- Hide and seek
- Solitaire or other card games
- Learn to sew together
- Have the kids make a scavenger hunt for each other
- Bake something yummy!
- Roller skate in the garage or the driveway
- Make a fort out of boxes or couch cushions
- Backyard game of tag
- Invite friends over
- Write a letter to grandma
- Board games
- Combine board games to make your own game
- Learn how to juggle
- Learn how to knit
- Write a letter to your favorite author
- Checkout many more ideas here!
You did it!
And boom! You’re at 5:00 and you can turn on “Bluey,” slump down in a comfy chair, and know that you just did something wonderful for your family!
Each week that you unplug will get easier, and each week will get more fun. I promise.
Helpful resources:
Gift ideas that keep kids busy without screens
Get out! Science says you will make more memories
When Your Kid Doesn’t Know How To Play Outside
Should I light my child’s iPad on fire, or grind it in the garbage disposal? Asking for a friend…
Thank you for reading ScreenLessPlayMore.com !
